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Therapy With AB

Psychotherapist in New York City.
  • About
  • What I Treat
  • What I Offer ↓
    • Individual & Couples Therapy
    • Breathwork Coaching
    • Intuitive Healing Careers
  • Blog
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How Parental Alcoholism Shapes Us as Adults

alana barlia January 8, 2025

This blog post discusses the chronic stress of growing up with an alcoholic parent, and explores the thought patterns and behavioral changes experienced by Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs)

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Tags ACOA, attachment theory, adult child of alcoholic, alcoholic parenting, alcoholic parents, al, narcissistic parenting, codependency, people pleasing, therapy, new york therapist

People-Pleasing: The Legacy of Emotionally Unavailable Parents

alana barlia February 28, 2024

This blog post dives into the impact of emotionally unavailable parenting on people-pleasing behavior in adulthood. Read on to learn more!

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Tags parenting, attachment theory, early attachment, inner child wound, people pleasing, highly sensitive people, emotional regulation, codependent relationships, codependency

The Crucial Role of Boundaries: Why Establishing and Maintaining Them is Vital for Well-being

alana barlia January 7, 2024

This blog post delves into the very real necessity of setting boundaries in our interpersonal relationships - and uses a real life example to show the deep impact on our relationships if we do not set boundaries.

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Tags boundaries, boundaries in relationships, toxic relationships, healthy relationships, unhealthy relationships, people pleasing, codependency

Navigating the Narcissistic Storm: The Grey Rock Method

alana barlia December 23, 2023

In the complex web of human relationships, encountering difficult personalities is inevitable. One challenging personality type that many people find themselves dealing with is the narcissist. The Grey Rock method is a strategy designed to minimize the emotional response and engagement with a narcissistic individual. Read more on this method here.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissistic parenting, narcissistic partner, narcissistic personality disorder, boundaries with a narcissist, boundaries, grey rock method, grey rock, extinction behavior, autonomic nervous system, codependent relationships, codependency, starve a narcissist
A view from a rocky shoreline on an overcast day to represent viewing choppy seas as a toxic relationship.

Exploring Love Addiction in Toxic Relationships

alana barlia November 26, 2023

Your brain is in an addictive cycle of reward & punishment that is so difficult to release. And that is because of something called Intermitten Reinforcement. Read on to learn more about how our brain chemistry plays a role in our crucial relationship choices.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, codependent relationships, codependency, mental health, healing relationships, toxic relationships, dopamine, serotonin, couples therapy, therapist, new york therapu
a close up of a field of wheat in the early morning.

Unraveling the Science Behind Our Attraction to Toxic Relationships

alana barlia November 26, 2023

Human relationships are complex webs of emotions, chemistry, and psychology. This blog post speaks to you if you find yourself drawn to toxic relationships - a cycle that is very hard to break.

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Tags toxic relationships, abusive relationships, science of relationships, relationships, codependent relationships, codependency, narcissistic abuse, couples therapy, therapy, new york therapist, new york therapy
an ocean wave spreading out over the tan sand of a beach.

Protect Yourself: Learning to Set Boundaries With a Narcissist

alana barlia November 20, 2023

The best way to deal with the narcissist in your life? Set. Boundaries. This blog post will guide you through some necessary boundaries to set with the narcissist in your life.

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Tags boundaries, boundaries with a narcissist, narcissistic parenting, narcissistic relationships, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, mental health, therapy, couples ther, codependency
looking up to the sun with tree leaves around the image edges.

Reclaiming Your Truth: A Journey to Self-Validation After Gaslighting

alana barlia November 20, 2023

Reclaiming your truth and validating yourself after being gaslit in your relationships is difficult. Read here to learn more about how to reclaim yourself through the healing journey.

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Tags gaslighting, gaslit, narcissistic abuse, recovery, recovering, healing codependency, mental health, codependent relationships, codependency, people pleasing, perfectionism, adult child of alcoholic, acoas, boundaries
viewing a large lake surrounded by bluffs and mountains with a clear blue sky and pine trees.

5 Ways to Start Healing Your Codependency

alana barlia October 15, 2023

Healing your codependency doesn’t have to be scary, and you don’t have to do it alone. Read on to learn 5 steps to begin healing your codependency today.

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Tags codependent relationships, codependent, healing codependency, codependency, tips for codependency, emotional trauma, body trauma, familial trauma, narcissistic partner
a panoramic view of the grand canyon.

What Is Codependency? And What Does This Buzzword Really Mean?

alana barlia October 15, 2023

Ever wonder what the deal is with this buzzword Codependency? Read here to dive into the foundations of what Codependency is & why it develops.

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Tags codependent relationships, codependent, codependency, healing codependency, tips for codependency, alanon, adult child of alcoholic, therapy, couples therapy, couples counseling
two adults in a field holding hands showing attachment to eachother.

Like Parent Like Partner: Do We Really Seek Partners Who Remind us of Our Parents?

alana barlia September 5, 2023

Do we REALLY seek relationships with partners who remind us of our parents? The short answer is - YES. Read more on why.

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Tags attachment, early attachment, parental attachment, attachment theory, narcissistic parenting, narcissistic partner, narcissistic relationships, codependency, codependent relationships
an empty wooden bench on the bank of a river or pond.

How to Spot a Narcissist - 5 Signs to Look For

alana barlia September 5, 2023

Ever wonder if somebody in your life has narcissistic personality traits? Here are 5 signs to help you spot a narcissist in your life.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissistic parenting, narcissistic relationships, narcissism, narcissistic partner, codependent relationships, codependent, codependency, people pleasing, perfectionism, alanon
two people holding coffee mugs at a table discussing mental health topics.

How Do I Manage Other's Expectations Of Me? And Is That My Responsibility?

alana barlia April 4, 2022

Expectations are essential to relationships. They act as safeguards, and protect our boundaries from being crossed. But what happens when expectations in a relationship are misaligned? Who’s responsibility is this, and what can we do to manage this?

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Tags expectations, relationships, narcissistic relationships, people pleasing, perfectionism, codependency, codependent, codependent relationships, couples therapy, couples counseling, conflict resolution
woman giving a piggy back ride to small child up a rising road in the fall.

Narcissistic Parenting and the Cycle of Abuse Part II: The Inner Child Wound

alana barlia July 1, 2021

Years long chaos and unpredictability with a narcissistic parent will lead children to seek solace through perfectionism and codependency. Here we explore the inner-child wound that evolves through narcissistic parenting abuse.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, personality disorder, narcissism, narcissistic parenting, parenting, codependency, perfectionism, inner child wound
close up of legs crossed and a woman's hand resting on top of book titled, "Parenting" by Tripp.

Narcissistic Parenting and the Cycle of Abuse: Part I

alana barlia July 1, 2021

Narcissistic Personality Disorder in a parent deeply affects children. Here I explore the cycle of abuse that ensues when a parent struggles with NPD.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissism, personality disorder, emotional abuse, emotional dysregulation, central nervous system, mental health, codependency
A pink paper heart strung on a red and white string that is half ripped in half against black.

Tell-Tale Signs of Narcissistic Abuse, and Some Helpful Tips to Remain Safe

alana barlia February 21, 2020

Ever have the feeling you are living with a narcissist? Unsure what some of the signs of narcissistic abuse are? Read on to learn more about the tell-tale signs of narcissistic abuse.

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Tags narcissistic abuse, narcissism, abuse, emotional abuse, codependent, couples therapy, marriage counseling, personality disorder, codependency, couples counseling, depression, trauma

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